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Trust &Sorry- Those Five Letter Words…
Sorry is more than just a word. I say this because how can just a simple word serve as a healing balm, a soothing essence for pain? You can’t even see it, yet the mere utterance of the word has the power to set everything aright.
In my opinion, however, I feel the word has started to lose its essence. Some people just flaunt the word about because they can. They hurt people intentionally because they know that single word ‘sorry’ can mend even the most horrible of deeds. Some people hurt others, say ‘sorry’, only to hurt them again. After some time, the word loses its value. You even start to wonder, ” Is this person hurting me because he/she thinks ‘sorry’ is just going to make everything right again?” Well, ordinarily everything is suppose to be better after that. But saying sorry for the same thing over and over again just dwindles the value of the word. I thought saying sorry meant, “I did not intentionally mean to hurt you, and i will not repeat it again”. I mean, if you could utter those words, it means you know you have caused another a certain amount of pain which you wouldn’t wish to happen to you, and you would have a good mind NOT to REPEAT. I mean, since when did accepting people’s apologies become such a foolish thing to do. Also, since when did ‘sorry’ become a tool for oppressors? Well, I guess since NOW! It’s sad how these days you can’t really tell when people are really being sincere with apologies. Some say it with their faces twisted in fake sobriety – The perfect actors, the gimmicks. You can’t really tell the difference between these people and those who are really sincere. I will admit, ashamedly, that i have misused this word more than once, in the wrong context. Not that I repeated those deeds, of course, but because i felt if i did them and said ‘sorry’ afterwards, I would be forgiven. Surely I was forgiven, but that did not make my apologies sincere. Again, those deeds I committed were not so grave, however, they were wrong nonetheless. In any case, no matter how trivial or grave your actions are, ‘sorry’ shouldn’t be misused, because it most definitely kills Trust.
The word Trust reminds me of an egg. Imagine placing your ‘beloved’ egg in the palm of someone, whom you feel will take care of it, wont break it, or crack it. Then imagine this person keeps wobbling it in their palm. No matter how much you trust the person, you’re going to keep making moves as if to grab the egg, because you believe that any point in time, the egg could fall, and most definitely break. In fear, you would tell the person to stop wobbling the egg, or out of annoyance, you would snatch the egg and go place it someone else’s care. In fact, you might even feel you are the only capable of taking care of your egg.
My analogy of trust may seem cheesy, but here’s the idea: the person who keeps wobbling your egg is the one who’s playing with your emotions. The one who knows he/she is the only one you can count on, and can say sorry and get away with it if anything happens to your egg. Now how many egg-wobblers have you come across in your life? Enough for some of us to trust noone but ourselves, and sadly, not even our loved ones. The thing about trust is, once broken, it is very hard to mend back. For some it would take a lifetime to recover that trust, and for others, they don’t even bother…
So when I see people who try to use ‘sorry’ to mend broken ‘trust’ , I feel they don’t understand the depth of what they have done. True, people are different. There are some people who don’t need to be apologized to before they forgive but It’s not everyone that accepts sorry without some proof that you won’t repeat what you’ve done.
No matter the ‘kind’ of person you’ve hurt, just make sure when you say sorry, you are prepared to show how sorry you are…even if it might take a while, and some effort… And that is something I have learned and I am still learning: to say sorry and show it in the way of not repeating that deed.
Culled from my personal blog : http://clearhaven.wordpress.com/